Haiku Monday - SWEAT (Winner)

Some good entries from a hot, sticky weekend. Now, to start, I am a novice poet (if I may be so bold) and can't hold a candle to critics such as Troll, Moi or Master Basho's Ghost. So I will comment on the Haikus in the order I received them and attempt to render a fair and impartial decision. Members of the Kill family are ineligible to play and all decisions of the judge (that would be me) are final. And the winner may proudly display the Haiku Monday Badge of Great Honor (with Master Basho's Ghost's permission, of course) on their blog. That will be prize enough (Buzz - you cheap bastard). And please, no wagering. So let the games begin.

Fishy shared my sentiments for Sunday morning (or any morning this past week). I have a digital thermometer in the bathroom that greets me every morning and I think 78 was the lowest it went. I like the way she did her first line with numbers and symbols to get the syllable count.

Sunday Morning

Eighty @ 6:10
forecasting triple digit
sweat expectations

Troll seems to be conveying a true story maybe? Interesting that it was hot, sweaty sex as opposed to the regular kind. Maybe she (and I'm assuming Riko is a girl) was the racist here. Troll raises all kinds of questions that maybe he'll clarify for us - or not. By the way, I couldn't access the link for the visual.

Troll Turned Down in Tokyo

Riko said "No!" to
hot sweaty sex. Racist? Or
anti-perspirant

Moi had a visual to go with her haiku. More traditional in the sense that she writes about good, old fashion, summertime sweat. Ineffectual swipe is really good and conveys the helplessness of sweating. And who hasn't had Coppertone hit their eyes like a can of pepper spray?

Heat blazes, brow pricks.
Ineffectual swipe. Ow!
Sunscreen burn blinds eyes.

Czar, in coming up empty, made sort of an anti-theme haiku (for lack of a better description). Making the jump between perspiration and inspiration was brilliant (I thought). And I think the new word "haikuless" may make Webster's next year.

coming up empty

Haikuless Monday.
on per- . . . no in-spiration.
Not gonna sweat it.

Chicky chose to go the shameless product placement route with her explanation of the science behind the sweat. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman during the "K9 days" of summer. I did like the "pheromone blast" imagery - and I'll stop right there.

A pheromone blast
by means of cooling system;
Kill it with Secret!

Fleurdeleo had me toweling off after this one. The sensual side of sweat and culinary pairings. I could actually hear a Poison or Whitesnake tune in my head while I was reading this....over and over....

Blazing Boardwalk

Frozen custard cone.
My tongue glides along my lip
tasting cream and salt.

Intuitive Eggplant had a visual of some nice looking Turkish Eggplant (who knew there was such a thing) presumably for the Culinary Smackdown this Sunday (31 July). I like that she doubled up the Haiku with her (our) Smackdown. I'm all about efficiency. And she savors her victory over all of the other safari participants. And it was very close to rhyming too.

Sunday Morning Farmers Market

Daunted, drenched by nine.
Then rare orange veg espied.
Others' sweat, I'll prize.

Karl scares me. *cue James Bond theme* While other people contemplate changing shirts 3 times during the day, Karl contemplates the type of long underwear one would wear while setting magnetic explosives to the hull of a Russian trawler. I think Troll (and Master Basho) can back me on the fact that you don't see "thermocline" in too many haikus. Shamelss sucking-up is - always appreciated.

The dry-suit dilemma:

Thermals in summer?
Too hot above the thermocline
Wet and cold at depth

Aunty conjures a very southern image of the lazing Uncle (right?) passing the time in an Americana-esque backyard scene. Does haloed imply saintly, or the amount of body heat the human body gives off on a scorching day? The reader is left to ponder this image with the rather disgusting thought of bugs drinking - anything. And the title of this haiku (more than any other this week) really helps put an image in my head.

Book on Chest

'Neath noonday haze the
hammock stills; gnats sip at his
Beaded haloed head

Some very different takes on a common problem this week. I'm sure I missed a lot of pieces to these haikus that I hope you will all share. My stylistic poetry and one-dimensional essays about poetry will hopefully prevent me from winning/judging in the future.

All said and imposing my authority as grand poobah of this week's theme, the top three are Czar, Fleurdeleo and Aunty. And I wittled it down to Aunty and Czar - with Aunty coming out on top. The mental imagery I got from Aunty's words were what did for me.

So congratulations to Aunty Belle. Display the Haiku Monday Badge of Great Honor with pride knowing you had great competition. Everyone stay hydrated.