Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Haiku Monday - SWEAT (Winner)

Some good entries from a hot, sticky weekend. Now, to start, I am a novice poet (if I may be so bold) and can't hold a candle to critics such as Troll, Moi or Master Basho's Ghost. So I will comment on the Haikus in the order I received them and attempt to render a fair and impartial decision. Members of the Kill family are ineligible to play and all decisions of the judge (that would be me) are final. And the winner may proudly display the Haiku Monday Badge of Great Honor (with Master Basho's Ghost's permission, of course) on their blog. That will be prize enough (Buzz - you cheap bastard). And please, no wagering. So let the games begin.

Fishy shared my sentiments for Sunday morning (or any morning this past week). I have a digital thermometer in the bathroom that greets me every morning and I think 78 was the lowest it went. I like the way she did her first line with numbers and symbols to get the syllable count.

Sunday Morning

Eighty @ 6:10
forecasting triple digit
sweat expectations

Troll seems to be conveying a true story maybe? Interesting that it was hot, sweaty sex as opposed to the regular kind. Maybe she (and I'm assuming Riko is a girl) was the racist here. Troll raises all kinds of questions that maybe he'll clarify for us - or not. By the way, I couldn't access the link for the visual.

Troll Turned Down in Tokyo

Riko said "No!" to
hot sweaty sex. Racist? Or

Moi had a visual to go with her haiku. More traditional in the sense that she writes about good, old fashion, summertime sweat. Ineffectual swipe is really good and conveys the helplessness of sweating. And who hasn't had Coppertone hit their eyes like a can of pepper spray?

Heat blazes, brow pricks.
Ineffectual swipe. Ow!
Sunscreen burn blinds eyes.

Czar, in coming up empty, made sort of an anti-theme haiku (for lack of a better description). Making the jump between perspiration and inspiration was brilliant (I thought). And I think the new word "haikuless" may make Webster's next year.

coming up empty

Haikuless Monday.
on per- . . . no in-spiration.
Not gonna sweat it.

Chicky chose to go the shameless product placement route with her explanation of the science behind the sweat. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman during the "K9 days" of summer. I did like the "pheromone blast" imagery - and I'll stop right there.

A pheromone blast
by means of cooling system;
Kill it with Secret!

Fleurdeleo had me toweling off after this one. The sensual side of sweat and culinary pairings. I could actually hear a Poison or Whitesnake tune in my head while I was reading this....over and over....

Blazing Boardwalk

Frozen custard cone.
My tongue glides along my lip
tasting cream and salt.

Intuitive Eggplant had a visual of some nice looking Turkish Eggplant (who knew there was such a thing) presumably for the Culinary Smackdown this Sunday (31 July). I like that she doubled up the Haiku with her (our) Smackdown. I'm all about efficiency. And she savors her victory over all of the other safari participants. And it was very close to rhyming too.

Sunday Morning Farmers Market

Daunted, drenched by nine.
Then rare orange veg espied.
Others' sweat, I'll prize.

Karl scares me. *cue James Bond theme* While other people contemplate changing shirts 3 times during the day, Karl contemplates the type of long underwear one would wear while setting magnetic explosives to the hull of a Russian trawler. I think Troll (and Master Basho) can back me on the fact that you don't see "thermocline" in too many haikus. Shamelss sucking-up is - always appreciated.

The dry-suit dilemma:

Thermals in summer?
Too hot above the thermocline
Wet and cold at depth

Aunty conjures a very southern image of the lazing Uncle (right?) passing the time in an Americana-esque backyard scene. Does haloed imply saintly, or the amount of body heat the human body gives off on a scorching day? The reader is left to ponder this image with the rather disgusting thought of bugs drinking - anything. And the title of this haiku (more than any other this week) really helps put an image in my head.

Book on Chest

'Neath noonday haze the
hammock stills; gnats sip at his
Beaded haloed head

Some very different takes on a common problem this week. I'm sure I missed a lot of pieces to these haikus that I hope you will all share. My stylistic poetry and one-dimensional essays about poetry will hopefully prevent me from winning/judging in the future.

All said and imposing my authority as grand poobah of this week's theme, the top three are Czar, Fleurdeleo and Aunty. And I wittled it down to Aunty and Czar - with Aunty coming out on top. The mental imagery I got from Aunty's words were what did for me.

So congratulations to Aunty Belle. Display the Haiku Monday Badge of Great Honor with pride knowing you had great competition. Everyone stay hydrated.


Karl said...

Добрый день Buzz Kill,

Какой забавный человек. Буду ли я делать такие вещи, как взорвать русскую траулер, они наши друзья, в настоящее время. Китайский ... Ну, это совсем другая история.

Поздравляем Тетя Belle!Заслуженную победу.

Jenny said...

Wow! Karl also speaks another language! He is scary.

Great job hosting, Buzz and I think Aunty's entry was very evocative of the good sweaty days of Summer.

sparringK9 said...

totally agree with your assessment -which was a delightful read. you are a great re-capper and a fair judge. I too, thought Aunty imagery was strong and universal. Congratulations AUnty!!

Buzz Kill said...

I found an online translator and this is what I got:

good day producers - Igor Stepanov, Eduard sushkov Pidfile

What amusing person. I will I to make such things, how to blast Russian trauler, they our friends, current. Chinese... All right, this at all another history.

congratulate AUNT Belle!a well-deserved victory

I'm calling Homeland Security.

moi said...

Brilliant recap and most excellent choice of winner! Now, get back in the yard and sweat it off.

Anonymous said...

Congrats Aunty! Good recap, Buzz!

For the record, Riko was a girl. Claiming she rejected me because of racism was poetic licence. The truth, as with all girls who have rejected me, is that she must have been a lesbian.

Amazing how many lesbians I've run into over the years!

fishy said...

Yeah Aunty! Did ya even tell Uncle he was your inspiration? Does he know you stand by and let gnats drink his sweat? I 'spect there will be pennance, like letting him pick the next subject and hep wif the judgements.

Nicely done. A fun game and you outed a secret or two.

Sharon Rudd said...

Egg-cellent recap, Buzz, and congrats to Aunty on her well-deserved win!

Aunty Belle said...


Mah gracious! Thanky BuzzK--this be very unexpected, on account of so many really good entries. Well, goodness- really surprised an' tickled. Fun recap, too. Each week I'se struck by how inventive folks is--Fishy's numbers & signals, Czar's neologism--impressive!

an' I 'preciate y'all's kind congrats too--ain't never been wished well in Russian.

On Thursday I'll post the theme on the Front Porch. Now...I'se off to ponder what that theme might be.

Thanky, thanky!!

Karl said...

In my haste to be a smart ass, I neglected to thank you for a fine job of hosting. Thank you!

Oh and they already have my number.

Interesting translation.

DasveedAnja Comrade.

czar said...

BuzzKill: Just getting back from a few days at son's college orientation. I think you've been down that road? Or will be soon?

Returned to find this. Great work judging, and an AuntyBelle victory can just about never be disputed. The woman is tough.

Buzz Kill said...

You're an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, surrounded by mystery...

When are you going to jump back into the games?

Yeah, Aunty actual made it kind of easy for me.

Is that some kind of double entendre?

Bwahahahaha I think the Mrs is a lesbian too.

I also had this image of Aunty peering out a second floor window with a pair of binoculars - spying on Uncle.

Looking forward to the Smackdown part of your haiku. I just hope I can pull it off.

You had a good win. It's kind of cute that you used Uncle as your muse. Or the act of a desperate woman under a deadline...but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Karl again
I just cut and pasted your comment as a whole into this online translator. It kind of sounds like every TV Russian I've ever seen. I was kidding about Homeland Security too. I know your a Company man.

Yeah, The Boy had his orientation 2 weeks ago. The Mrs went instead of me. I have yet to set foot on campus. But you know I'll be there to dump him off the end of August.

And you were right there with the haiku. I liked it alot.

Fleurdeleo said...

Aunty, your winner entry had sweaty summer all over it! Congratulations! And Buzz, your recap was terrific--giving such attention to each haiku. Great hosting job. Troll, I am into the Korean TV dramas now, so am picturing one with you and Riko--if an actor were to be cast as you, who would be the closest fit??

Buzz Kill said...

You really had a hot haiku for a sweaty theme. And I'd like to hear the actor Troll would cast as himself too.